I have been struggling to write over the past few weeks of being both in the waiting stages of knowing what will happen this month and the whiplash we’ve gotten from the several sudden and swift changes in direction. The near two weeks following my birthday IVF consultation was quiet. I simply took the oral… Continue reading Plot Twist!
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all the things we have not shared with others throughout this journey. All the feelings I have not shared out loud; feelings that I have words for and those I do not. The miscarriage, shared only with the closest few and work necessities now seems like a figment of our… Continue reading Infertility, Miscarriage, and other things that Shall Not Be Named.
After speaking with our nurse on the Tuesday following Christmas, we thought we were out for the month of January. She told us we were “too late” for this cycle and that the doctor wanted to sit down with us to “come up with a plan.” So we scheduled our WTF (Why the fuck didn’t… Continue reading Next Step: IVF
Everyone is looking for their own place of peace through this kind of journey. Some find solace in prayer, their family, or in their support system. Me, I find that music is the best place to rest my heavy heart. To let someone else say (sing) the words that fill my heart with truth. A… Continue reading Infertility & Loss Playlist: 17 Songs to Help You Heal
As if this Christmas was not hard enough, we received the results of this cycle’s blood test yesterday. Negative. There are so. many. feelings. It is amazing how quickly you cycle through the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. After 2 years of trying to conceive, I’ve got the sequence down to a… Continue reading Anger and the Other Stages of My Infertility Grief
Dear Family, Please believe me when I say that I do not mean to be bitter or distant this Christmas. Believe it or not, I actually began this holiday season with giddy hopes about Christmas and the luck and joy it could bring to our lives. Unfortunately, my once optimistic and giddy excitement for the… Continue reading A Letter to My Family About My Infertility at Christmas.